Racist or Awesome: HELA’s First Ever Reader Poll

Today’s topic: The Obama Chia Pet.

Recently the staff at HELA got into a debate over the propriety of this «special edition» Chia. Now in all fairness, the POTUS does keep his lettuce tight …but is celebrating that fact with a Chia Pet respectful or offensive?

I don’t know. Pretty much any Chia Pet homage is pretty awesome in my book. Hell, if I were Mike Brady, I’d be jonesing hard for my own Chia. It’s the sub-culture honorary equivalent of a Bobble Head. Just look at how sad Papa Brady looks. A perfect perm but no Chia.

However, some of my colegas disagree. Entonces…¿offensiva o no?… we need your input to reach consensus. Hence we proudly present the ObaChia as the topic for HELA’s first ever reader poll. Do it. It’ll only take a momentito.

Besos, Abrazos, y Muchas Gracias, – La Tripulación

New Shins

A friendly reminder that even though Albuquerque and Portland are a good mix… COMMUNISM AND PENGUINS ARE NOT!

Yeah, yeah… that video is almost 10 years old (joder!) but it remains one of my favorites of the last decade. It’s like a dystopian Dire Sraits meets Animal Farm. And after 5 years sipping mai tais and mowing the lawn, the lads are back and the dark humor that festers in the bowels of their collective soul has only grown stronger.

First video release off the new album Port of Morrow, is twisted video genius. It makes me want to laugh… then curl up in the corner and cry …then laugh again.

Mos Def – Niggas in Poorest

La foto del día 2: Shoot the Moon High-5 Burger Leap

From our hermanos quasi-Californicanos across the pond at Brown Cardigan and the Australian basecamp of San Clemente brainchild Von Zipper.

As always, free burrito for best caption.

Equis y abrazos,

– EPR

Deportista del Día: World B. Free

We need to give a quick abraço to Helene Elliot at the LA Times. When Blake Griffin and Chris Paul were named starters on this year’s NBA All Star team Helene reminded us that many moons ago, the Clippers had another starter on the All Star squad. Lined up against an Eastern Conference team that was stacked with ballers like Julius Erving, Moses Malone, and George «The Ice Man» Gervin were a trio of Southern California Hall of Famers. Magic Johnson and Kareem Abdul Jabbar were on the court to represent the Showtime Lakers and for the first (and until this year the only) time ever, there was a Clipper listed in the starting lineup. That man was one Lloyd Bernard «World B.» Free.

A product of Carnesie High in Brooklyn,

Ya velkum…

Carnaval may be behind us but not all the fun of Lenten-time festivities has passed us by. While the Catholics might be wrapping things up, the Jews are juuuuust getting started. See the day after the goyim go back to eating chocolate or smoking cigarettes or masturbating or whatever else they give up for 40 days, that’s when the Jews get busy …eating matzoh.

Everybody loves matzoh! Well, maybe not everybody. But most the skinny broads who can find the kosher aisle at Ralphs know what’s up with the big cracker —  it’s the one bland low calorie carb that they can shamelessly crunch on for a couple weeks each year without the stigma of the other pre-Atkins diet foods. Like rice crackers… how does anybody stomach those things. They’re like styrofoam…blech! You eat that dreck and it’s obvious that you’re fixated on your michelines. But matzoh is different.

Natalie & Mila: Body by matzoh

Chicas preocupadas con los rollitos can eat matzoh and feel cool. Why? «Because it’s multiculturalism you racist motherfuckers! I’m eating Jew crackers. Read the Old Testament… ohmagawd!»

Matzoh is a crossover hit so universal that for the duration of Passover even the militant vegan intelligentsia at UC Berkeley hate Israel just a little less – even if only for a pseudo-Marxist hipster moment. But this story isn’t really about matzoh or Karl Marx. It’s about another Passover delicacy that has crossed over and achieved iconic status. And I’m not talking about gefilte fish.

Chavez the Hutt

Hugo - either he needs Maalox or Boba Fett.

Bring me Capriles and the Wookiee. They will all suffer for this outrage.

Last month Foreign Policy’s Peter Wilson wrote about the Chavez smear campaign against opposition candidate Henrique Capriles Radonski.

Carnaval 2012 – Revisitado

Another year without making the pilgrimage back to Brasil for Carnaval. [SIGH]. Que pena. Viver na cidade dos anjos tem seu preço. É por isso that I still feel a fistful of saudade slam into my gut when I see this photo essay by Felipe Dana from this year’s desfile no Sambodromo. Incríveis, as imagens.

The trio elétricos in Bahia are the velha guarda and in reality, the smaller blocos are more fun to take part in but damn… there’s something about the intensity and magnitude of the Sambodromo that just can’t be matched. It’s hands down the vovô of global spectacle and Dana captures so much of it in his series for the LA Times. Starting with a shot of Antônia Fontenelle, this year’s rainha de bateria da escola de samba Mocidade Independente de Padre Miguel, Dana is able to translate the …energia of carnaval that results each year from 11 months of artistry, craftsmanship, training, and commitment.

Antônia Fontenelle, Rainha de Bateria - Grêmio Recreativo Escola de Samba Mocidade Independente de Padre Miguel

Oh sweet Jesús!

Pope, Pope-mobile, sombrero. It’s a crying shame this guy can’t get laid because he’s slinging around some wicked strong game.
Free burrito for best captions. Haz CLICK for the full photo essay at The Telegraph UK.
– EPR

Did El Salvador cut a deal with the gangs to bring down violence? | FP Passport

Did El Salvador cut a deal with the gangs to bring down violence? | FP Passport

This article is muy interesante. Always intriguing to see

Vaginas, Assholes, and clairvoyant Mad Men

I never got on the Mad Men bandwagon but a compañera finally sat me down to watch the first episode. ¡Joder! if it wasn’t like eavesdropping on a GOP think tank. The scene in the gynecologist’s office is a verbatim prognostication of the Limbaugh / Santorum soundbites that dominated the uproar over contraception during the Republican primaries:

«Although as a doctor I would like to think that putting a woman in this situation [taking the pill] is not going to turn her into some kind of strrrrumpet…»

¡Guau mayn! Was that New York circa 1960 or KFI circa …last week???

Sub the gyno and Peggy Olson for Rush and Sandra Fluke and you haven’t changed a thing.

Why to buy a used troca

Dropped my wallet under the bench seat of a recently acquired 1990 Ford F150. Reached to grab it and instead came back with this:

Montana judge admits sending [racist] email about Obama

A post-racial color blind America has SO much to learn from Montana’s chief federal judge, the Honorable Justice Richard Cebull. As elucidated by this learned and esteemed jurist, racism isn’t racist if it’s only expressed among racist friends. And racism’s CERTAINLY not racist if it’s about someone you don’t like. Are we clear now? Can you hear me from the courtroom… 1954 …are you listening?

Montana judge admits sending racist email about Obama – L.A. Times.